Priorities, Michelle Obama and why I hired a PT at 40

11 July, 2019

Last year, our oven broke. 

And I mean broke down in a really dramatic way, as in a pipe-bursting, flame-sparking kind of combustion episode that belonged on Breaking Bad.

Not surprising given it’s an unpredictable 1980s relic in a retro kitchen that's straight out of The Brady Bunch. You can’t even get parts for these things they’re so old.

This epic oven collapse happened at about the same time I was due to turn 40.

Which is of no consequence except for the fact that good ovens are expensive and I had already decided to invest in a personal trainer to help me lose the baby weight.

I wanted to get my body back after having three babies in the last 5 years and had one specific instruction for my soon-to-be PT: "Give me guns like Michelle Obama".

And now I had two choices.

Buy a fancy oven and be the nurturing, Nigella Lawson-ish, ‘I love to bake for my little ones’, mother earth goddess (that I was starting to suspect I would never be).

OR let that hard-earned cash be in pursuit of another more ‘selfish’ goal: #gettingmymojoback.

I struggled with this dilemma, to be honest. In my head, these two options were incapable of going hand in hand.

Either be the sweet, selfless, caring Mum who wants to cook and freeze lasagne all day Sunday while everyone else relaxes and does their thing OR go off and get your weekly spray tan and hire a PT and let the Canadian Au Pair look after the kids while they all eat fish fingers, you vain imposter, but YOU CANNOT CHOOSE BOTH.

I wanted to be fit and fabulous at 40 not cranky and flabby at 40. I didn't want the years to tick by without having done what I truly want to do in life.

So I knew what I wanted to do about it but I felt huge conflict around the whole thing.

Am I selfish for wanting this? Should I be spending more time with my kids? Should I spend every cent I own on my family?

Does anyone else experience this struggle?

I work with a lot of busy Mums and female business owners and see this all the time. 

They say to me: 

I really want to make time for myself but it’s just too hard with that stack of laundry piling up before my eyes.

I wish I had more energy for my business/life/husband/children. 

I wish I could lose 5 kilos. 

I wish I could go to my favourite hot yoga class every week but I never make it there. 

Family stuff always takes priority. There's just not enough hours in the day!

Speaking with O, The Oprah Magazine's Editor-in-Chief, Gayle King, recently, Michelle Obama explained it like this:

"I think for us as women, many of us, we have a hard time putting ourselves on our own priority list, let alone at the top of it. And that's what happens when it comes to our health as women. We are so busy giving and doing for others that we almost feel guilty to take that time out for ourselves." 

I was in the same boat just shy of my 40th birthday.

10 kilos overweight. 

Zero energy. 

Tired and crying all the time. 

Snapping at the kids on a whim.

Puffy eyes and lacklustre skin and a super short fuse.

Desperately seeking out snippets of time for exercise and self-care.

But never finding the time.

And so I chose the PT. 

I made myself a priority.

5 months later, I’ve lost the baby weight. I've toned up my body. I can even see Michelle-style guns forming and I love it.

I worked with that PT (and still do - she is amazing!) and got it done.

Some days, I took my daughters to training and they'd play and dance in her carport while we lifted weights and swung kettlebells. #winning 

I popped on my 'pre-maternity me' jeans. I ran my very first half marathon. I started to feel like my joyful, energetic self again.

And you know what? 

My family didn’t suffer. 

The kids had a lot more stir fries and frozen meals and ‘breakfast for dinner’ nights. But they survived.

My Mum eventually gifted us a cool little toaster oven that the kids love because it’s a mini version of the old one (and performs a whole lot better).

My business improved.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to hide away behind a computer anymore. 

I felt more confident being visible and showing up on video. 

I got all dolled up and did a fancy photo shoot to get new website pics.

I invested in my business and in my own personal development.

But by far, the biggest pay-off of all was how it improved my relationship with me.

I prioritised me.

And I took a leaf out of Michelle's book and decided to release my guilt about it. 

As Michelle said, you're not a bad Mum simply "because you’re pursuing some of your dreams and as women we have to give oursel[ves] permission to be fulfilled on our own." 

So if you’re wondering right now whether you should make time for you - do it.

Whether it's putting that hot yoga class in the diary, ticking a dream off your bucket list, investing in a course or hiring a babysitter to help with your kids while you work - give yourself permission to do it. Guilt free!

There’ll always be an excuse or a reason not to do something. 

To put it off for another week. Another month. Another year.

So ask yourself this: where do you want to be this time next year? 

What does next year’s version of you look like? What have they achieved?

Make yourself a priority.

I’m ready to give you all the help, mentoring and mindset inspo you need to press play on your dreams today! x email me at hi@itsnevertoolateclub.com - I can’t wait to chat!